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HM: I'm a such a huge proponent of looking cute when you work out. I think that is something so huge. Being a plus size girl, there are not as many options for me for cute workout gear. I have to work with what I have available. It can be draining, the physical and mental [aspect of working out]. I need that extra push. TV: How do you practice self care, and rest and recharge from workouts?

HM: If I'm having a day where I feel extremely overwhelmed in my mental health, or in my body, [if] I feel really sore — that's when it's best to listen to your body. When you're feeling on the verge of if you could go one more time, great, but I think it's important to listen to ourselves.

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If I feel like it's time to rest, if I need a spa day, to get my nails done, or to take care of [myself] in other ways. Self care is not just working out, it's reading a book, taking an hour of quiet time. I love getting massages. I get one once a month.


It's a time when I can turn off my brain, work out my muscles. I'm a huge believer in affirmations.

BUT it did get better! So how does this Tinder thing work.

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Ok so that was way down the list. It was a mix of all the practical living arrangements — where to live? The list goes on. BUT the main one for me was the realisation that before separating, I could see my child whenever I wanted, and to a degree you take that for granted. Now, I was going to have some form of restrictions placed around that, and that hurt more than anything. My main focus was to make work out an agreement of equal, shared custody.

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I could not imagine being a weekend dad. The second was finding and creating a new place and sense of home — for my sanity and more so for son, to start to feel settled and safe in a new home as soon as possible. The kids were my top priority, exploring options of changing schools and home vs staying where we were. I was lucky enough that my Mr Ex was supportive at least in the beginning to keep us in our home so that they were not impacted. Some are not so lucky. Mum and Dad still Love you no matter what.

This is not your fault, and its not your job to try and fix it. Just try and be aware of that and try and talk to us about how you feel. I actually wrote a guide script and a list of possible questions and answers to be prepared and not caught off guard. In basic terms — letting them know they are loved and reassuring them as much as you can. I tried to keep the routine as normal as possible for them and also tried to schedule in as much time as my Mr Ex would agree to see them this was a challenge in itself because he had found new freedom and devoured it.

In hindsight, I may have over compensated for my Mr Ex not being around by driving myself to the bone going back to work full time from part time to be able to keep the family home. It was consuming and took its toll on me physically losing approx. After separating, no. I was too hurt and angry. Im not someone to never say never, but it would have to feel right on all accounts. Im a romantic at heart.

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